Saturday, April 17, 2010

1.12 am.

Bored out of my mind with everything, with all of you, out of my mind? Mind mind..when was I ever in my mind. How can you be in a mind when you were never really in anything at all.

I will stay like this for years. In a daze like nothing really matters, nothing is truly happening. There's a lingering feeling of anticipation but it's so distant you forget what you were excited about in the first place. That line - it's all happening. What the fuck is happening? Are you in the same world as I am? Can you not see that nothing ever changes. People walk through life, walk over friends, over feelings. They wash out their own because it's easier not to feel. Just to walk and keep walking until some one or something gets in the way. Then you start to remember what it feels like just to feel something, anything. Then it starts all over again. Is this living? Bumping and running into strangers for the thrill of a touch, the idea of some one, not that some one as a whole. It's seems the idea of something is much more enticing than the object itself. The calm before a crash or the look before a kiss. Maybe it's just me, but I love the idea of it all. I'm in love with the idea of life and of you and of everything in the spaces and gaps of this existence. Exist, I want to exist.

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